It was around this time last year that I was debating on getting back into review writing. I was approached by someone on Twitter who was looking for a games writer on their website. I entertained the idea enough to draft a sample article. Halfway through, I had a realization:
I hated writing reviews.
I worked for a gaming network years ago, covering reviews and testing out new games to review. Even then I had a hard time finding my voice. I simply didn’t care enough to be as informative as the position called for. I got bored having to weave several adjectives to form an opinion detailing why someone should or should not give a game a go. That’s what critics and game trailers are for.
I get halfway through this review I’m carving into stone (that’s how it felt) for Twitter-dude, stop typing, and realize that this wasn’t what I wanted. At all.
So I trashed what I had written and emailed the guy to let him know I was no longer interested, then I went to my blog and this is what poured out:
The Writer – 2013
I spent some time looking back through my blog today; re-reading thoughts from the past. I think I’ve come pretty far in three years. I’m proud of myself.
Now I’m going to say something I’ve never said out-loud before, nor have I ever agreed with when someone else has said it:
I am a good writer.
This is it. This is my calling. This is my thing. Something I excel at. Something I’m proud of myself for.
This isn’t me being full of myself. This is me figuring me out. This is a realization that I’m actually really good at something.
When I was a kid, I used to put on puppet shows for the neighbors. I would hide under my bed and use the bed skirt as a curtain. There I was, sitting under my bed with a bunch of stuffed animals and a notebook full of scribbled dialogue. I spun elaborate tales of the seal and his friend the puppy. I dazzled toddlers with the heroic deeds of the bear. I was incredibly passionate about story telling at a very young age. (No wonder I took to role-play games so easily!)
I love lore. I’m crazy about knowing everything there is to know about something. Or someone! Fiction and non-fiction. I find the stories of others so intriguing that I often immerse myself in finding out every little detail.
The book I’m writing… it’s the only thing I’ve been able to stick to for more than a few weeks. I usually throw in the towel early because I get bored or begin to feel like I wasn’t meant to be doing whatever it was I was doing. However, December will mark one year since I began my novel. I’ve been working on a book series every week for nearly a year. That’s more effort than I’ve ever put into anything that I’ve ever said I was doing or going to do. (Which is a huge step for me!)
Why is this working for me when I’ve failed everywhere else? The same reason I was able to spend weeks, sometimes months, writing out the story line for D&D campaigns, the reason I’ve been writing songs and poetry since I could write, and the reason I obsessed over literature projects in school.
The reason I put on puppet shows for the neighbors when I was a kid…
It’s the story.
I’m officially done with writing reviews and writing about things that will only get lost in time. It’s a waste of not only my time, but my talent.
I’ve found my passion in life. I’m a story writer.
…and if you haven’t found yours, I hope you do soon. I hope you’ll be as proud of yourself for such a wonderful discovery as I am. You owe it to you.
This moment of self-discovery has maintained it’s strength a year later. I am a good writer.
Singing. Writing. Sports. Art. Everyone has something they excel at. Sometimes all it takes to excel is to believe in yourself.
I believe in me – and you.
Love and Loot,