I don’t like bullies. I’ve written about them before. It’s a subject I talk about often.
I’m also not one for drama. I try my best to avoid conflict, but sometimes the conflict is unavoidable. Sometimes people push and push until it’s required of you to break the silence and speak out against them.
This is such a case.
Bells and I are being harassed by someone in the World Of Warcraft community. She didn’t get her way, so she is lashing out against us both, more so towards Bells. I won’t name any names. I imagine most of you can figure it out yourselves.
I’m not writing about this to bash this person or destroy her. I pity her, after all. However, I’ve dealt with my fair share of bullies and I did so by talking about it. How do you get rid of bullies? You stand up for yourself. You tell the truth.
That is what I’m doing right now. Standing up for myself and someone I love. Seeing as how this drama is now bleeding into the Warcraft Twitter community, I feel I need to speak out in both of our defense. Is it anyone’s business? No, not really. Am I stirring things up by talking about it here? Probably. She wants the situation to have attention. I’m giving her what she wants.
A person can only take so much before they crack. Our emotions are drained. In addition to the distance, our relationship was made even more trying by the actions of someone else. Our reputation in this community is being threatened. There were times when our health and well-being were hanging in the balance.
That’s not an exaggeration. The dosage of my medication was increased around the time that this all started. The side effects alone have been troublesome. That on top of the things this person has thrown at me caused a complete breakdown in which I was taken to the emergency room for. I had a seizure. I wasn’t eating. I wasn’t sleeping. I couldn’t get out of bed.
Bells has had several panic attacks. It’s impacted her appetite and ability to sleep. You have no idea how rough a long-distance relationship can be until your significant other is having a panic attack over the phone and the only thing you can do is talk them through it. You can’t hold them. You can’t curl up with them in bed. We both had moments where we felt we couldn’t do anything to help the other because we were so far apart. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world.
So when I say that her actions caused harm to our health, I am not in the least bit inflating that statement.
Two months. Two months of chaos in the form of someone spinning up and unable to control their behavior. We were patient. We were kind. We bent and bent and gave in to most of the things that were asked of us. We tried. In the beginning, this other person tried as well. After that her attempts of peace became attempts of manipulation.
Manipulation happened because she wasn’t getting the one thing she asked for; the one thing she wanted all along: Me gone.
“Then get rid of her.”
I’ve had rumors spread about me by a group of girls who I used to call friends. “You need to go back to where you came from!” One of them said to me after I transferred back to the school they attended.
I’ve had a best friend who knew my boyfriend was cheating on me with a mutual friend, hid it from me, and plotted to destroy every bit of me over social media after I left the state. “Don’t come back!”
I’ve had guildies try and push me out of the guild because of the way I looked. “She doesn’t belong here.”
Out of all of those things, all of the rumors spread and the lies told and the hurtful things that were done to me, nothing hurt as much as someone close to my significant other telling her to get rid of me.
If you wanted to hurt me, congratulations. You did. You hurt us both, and now you’re hurting yourself.
Most of you know by now that Bells and I are no longer attending Blizzcon. This was something we decided after this person went to Twitter seeking attention and justification for her actions. She has spoken ill of Bells. She’s made it seem like she will be in danger if we show up. She can not get us banned from Blizzcon, so she is filing a restraining order to prevent us from attending. She has said many things that are not true and she now has a posse of people eating up her every word and “helping” her through this situation.
Here’s the situation, since she’s so badly fishing for people to tell it to: She claimed to be in love with Bells after Bells told her that she was in love with me. She did a lot of really messed up things in between that I will not get into for the sake of her reputation. Her actions were attempts to “win” Bells over. Her actions were forgiven by the both of us because we knew she was hurting. We knew she was having a hard time and that this wasn’t easy for her. Bells tried to keep the peace. She wanted her friend and she also wanted her girlfriend. I tried to repair things as best I could from my end. I was met with hostility during a Skype conversation and later called a liar for something she claims she did not say, but did. She refused to move forward because I wouldn’t apologize for lying, so I did. I did it to to move forward and to see what her reaction would be. She never spoke to me again after. She used suicide and self-harm as a tool for manipulation, something that hit both Bells and I pretty hard. Things seemed to be getting better, then I was asked to leave the guild because she wasn’t comfortable with me being there. She claimed that it was her only request. Then she wanted me off the server. She then demanded Bells get rid of me. When Bells refused, this person assaulted Bells via text and went to Twitter with a sob story.
And that’s where we are now. Hopefully with that cleared up, some of you will stop biting her line.
I’m not out get her. This post, while it is about her and this situation, is also about bullying. Bells and I are presently the victims of a bully. I will not tolerate it in silence any longer.
You don’t treat people like this. You don’t hurt people you claim to love. You don’t spread rumors and lies about people just to get under their skin. You don’t threaten people with restraining orders just because they won’t give in to what you want. You can not control people.
This situation has risen to a level that now has Bells and I in fear of our safety. We will not be attending Blizzcon because of that fear. We’ve had to change our phone numbers and are filing Orders Of Protection. Hopefully that will be the end of it.
All of this could have been avoided if she had let us be.
If you become the victim of bullying, speak up. If someone is harassing you on social media websites, speak up. Stand up for yourself. Don’t let them get the best of you. Sometimes standing up for yourself and speaking out against them is enough to make them stop.