Boobs and Butts, Oh My! (NSFW)

There was an ass in my newsfeed this morning. Not just any ass. Miley Cyrus’s ass.

miley bum

Her ass, Zuu? Have you SEEN the Wrecking Ball video?”

Yes! I have seen the Wrecking Ball video. Or at least half of it. The video was a little over the top for my tastes. Not because she was naked, but because I don’t think her actions in the video were a good match for the tone of the song. Seeing her swingin’ ’round and breaking shit made that song lose its muchness for me.

“Okay, so there was an ass in your feed. Welcome to the internet!”

This was an ass unlike any other ass. Not because it was Miley’s. Not because it had an image of a tongue on it that drove my thoughts to obvious places. It was an ass that made the light bulb above my head light up and explode.

We preach ‘body positivity’ then turn around and shun people who want to post their tits online. Folks are slammed with “attention whore!” when they post pictures of their ass because they are proud of their backside.

I admit that seeing people post their junk all over the place bothers me. However, upon seeing the Cyrus derriere this morning, I asked myself “Why?”

Why does it bother me? Why the hell do I care? Proper research will give you a slew of photos from my modeling days. I’m no stranger to putting myself out there. The only difference between my professionally imaged boobs and your selfie Instagramed boobs is the picture quality. So, why is it a big deal if someone wants to flash their bits online?

That’s when I realized that it is how the person presents their lovely bits to the world that bothers me.

Day 1: “MUSCLES.” Day: 2 “ASS MUSCLES. EAT RIGHT, BITCHES.” Day 3: “DAY 1’S PHOTO IF YOU MISSED IT, BITCHES” – Unless you’re networking as a body builder or as a complete douche, please just don’t this.

“Tee-hee I made pizza!” – If over half the image is your cleavage, you’re not telling us about pizza, dear!

“Look at my elephant trunk of a cock!” – NO. Tie it in a knot and color me interested. Otherwise, NO. Genitals, in my opinion, are a bit much as far as sharing them on social media is considered. Save it for your porn site profile.

Presentation is key! Be proud of your body! If you’re so proud of it that you want to show it off, do it! Fuck the haters! Worried people will unfollow you for it? If someone unfollows or unfriends you for being YOU, to hell with them! Present yourself in a tasteful* manner and hopefully others will perceive what you present more positively.

(*Tasteful is a matter of perception. You can’t win them all.)

Let’s face it guys. Boobs and butts are EVERYWHERE. The internet has been kind to us in that regard. If I post a picture of my boobs online, it should not be a big deal. It’s a part of my body. We proudly post pictures of our faces when they are glowing or when we’ve found the perfect shade of lipstick. We should be just as excited to post pictures of our girls when they are being perky or when you’ve found a shirt that makes them sing!

Stop being afraid to show off your body! Clothed or unclothed! Weight, height, color – None of that matters! Embrace it! (Inb4 someone tweets me pictures of their hairy ass. Whatever you’re proud of, babe.)

Something I’m proud of: MY ASS. I think it’s a great ass and I take pictures of it all the time! Yes, there are pictures of my ass online. There is even a picture floating around of my boobs covered in chocolate. Am I ashamed? No! Does it make me less of a person? Not at all. It makes me, me.

Buttss!

Boobs and Butts,
Zuulzilla

2 thoughts on “Boobs and Butts, Oh My! (NSFW)

  1. Y’know what, I have great boobs. I am proud of and like my boobs. I think everyone should like my boobs, because they’re fabulous.

    You’re totally right. I hate the hypocrisy of people preaching body positivity then trying to shame people who show their bodies off, however I also equally hate the people who try to hide the fact that they love their body and want to show it off by pretending the picture of their chest is for other reasons. It’s not. Please don’t treat us like we’re stupid.

    What really rustles my jimmies? People who shame others for being open and proud of their body then post the same pizza pictures you mentioned here. WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU’RE UP TO!

    Nice butt, by the way.

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